Wisdom Obtained: 33 Years Old

I was struck by this picture of a survivor of the Russian subway car that was attacked by a militant suicide bomber. As I looked at this man, injured but not broken, and very much alive, it reminded me of my own life and how it correlates to the upcoming Easter Celebration and my birthday on April 5, 2010. Throughout life, we all have survived some bomber attacks that have left us emotionally, physically, or mentally injured, but we survived. We are here, alive, and not broken.



As Easter and my birthday approaches, I started to think about the age of Jesus when he was crucified, 33, and my pending 33rd birthday. I've come a long way from Cummings, South Carolina, and have morphed into a man (some would say "young man") that's only a shell of his past self. A reflection in mirrored reality to those who knew me then, and a bitting picture of reality to those who have grown to love me now. I've always had a lot to say. As I've matured, I find solace and resolution in listening more than speaking. I still struggle to find meaning, relevance, and purpose. To know that Jesus was on purpose, consistent, enlightened, and prepared for death at 33 is daunting. He was brave, honorable, humble, intelligent, kind, meek, loving, giving, and fair. He willingly accepted his purpose and call at 33 years of old. As we all strive to emulate his life, and to be better people, we must ask ourselves whether we know who were are, and are we mature enough to embrace a destiny or purpose because it's necessary, not popular.

"The Constitution as a Weapon"

I believe it's dangerous to hypothesize on the intent of the "Foundering Fathers". It's unfortunate that many of the diatribes concerning individual rights, as outlined in the constitution, come on the heels of an African American President. As a historian by degree, in my studies I've found that bigotry often is masked in pseudo concern for literal interpretation of the constitution. As I listen to Glenn Beck, or Fox News in general, ranting about the constitution, I wonder where they concerns were when the former President initiated unlawful wiretaps, and established the Patriot Act, which caused the most erosion of US citizens' rights to date. I wonder where the analyse of individual rights and lives were when we were bamboozled into the Iraqi War. Now, lets bring it home, for that matter, where was all of this discussion about the intent of the foundering fathers, and alienable rights when the citizens of New Orleans were displaced, discounted, and disgarded? There was no discussion of their alienable rights; the main right in the wake of Katrina was simply their right to life. But there was no discussion because their was no concern.

The "skinny" on Credit Scores

I was very surprised at the number of people completely oblivious to their financial standing. During my 6 years in banking, I learned that people were more concerned with their monthly payment than the interest they were paying. It was not until they were shown the amount of money wasted because of their interest rates due to their credit scores that light bulbs went off. How to fix their current standing soon became their top priority.

After being shown their afflictions, and given information on how to resolve their credit issues, most people are receptive and jump at the chance to walk in the path of the credit savvy. Credit Scores are simple to understand and follow when broken down into the subgroups that comprise the Fair IIsaac Corporation (FICO) score. I'm a believer when it comes to the financial knowledge of guru Suze Orman; however, an article by Lee Ann Obringer at Money.Howstuffworks.com gives a great breakdown of the components of a FICO score. The FICO can range from 300-850 approximately. The actual formula to determine a score is owed by Fair Issac. The following in the breakdown of a credit score:

-35 % is based on payment history.
-30% is based on outstanding debt.
-15% is based on the amount of time you've had the credit line.
-10% is based on new credit lines opened; new credit negatively affects scores for a short time.
It also takes into account hard and soft inquiries, or companies looking at your credit score
as well as you personally looking at your score. When done within close proximity of
each other, hard inquiries count as one. Soft inquires, or you checking your score does
not affect your FICO.
-10% is based on the types of credit lines that you have, revolving (credit cards),
and installment loans (fix monthly payments). (http://www.money.howstuffworks.com/, How Credit Scores Work by Lee Ann Obringer, Feb 8, 2010)

When your parents told you to never pay any of your bills late, you should have listened to them, as 35% of the FICO score is determined by this factor. Stop focusing on payments, and start having discussions and thoughts on the real cost of items that you're purchasing or want to purchase. A good FICO score can be the difference between affording college tuition for your children, or passing debt onto them via student loans.

If your interested in learning more about all aspects of credit and how to make informed decisions regarding your finances, "The Young, Fabulous, and Broke" by Suze Orman is an excellent reference guide to assist you in that effort. Until next time good people, Hotep!

"The Price of Freedom: A Forgotten Charge"

I struggled with my decision to bring children into this world. A world that is so filled with ignorance, hatred, and prejudice. A world that's poised to judge them, my beautiful black boys, simply on the color of their skin before they even speak their first articulate, carefully chosen words. I often wonder what our ancestors were made of. I'm already tired of fighting. I'm tired of the dualism; I'm tired of having to be "Billy" at the office, or at work functions, and switching to my natural self when I'm at home, or in the car. Now one else has to do this delicate dance between social standards in subcultures and communities at large but minorities, and I'm tired.

As I watched "The Great Debaters", I was gripped by the intensity of the clashing scenes between the white and black actors. I was taken back by my tears because I didn't think it would affect me the way it did. At the end of the movie, one of the main characters quoted St. Augustine. He stated that according to St. Augustine "an unjust law is not a law at all". He went on to say that we have a duty to meet unjust laws with violence and/or civil disobedience, and that the audience, mostly white, should pray that he chose the latter. At that moment when those words were muttered, I started sobbing. It was a quiet intense I understand sob. I sob that said we are still fighting and resisting. And it also said that we're getting tired. Those emotions threw me in a tailspin, and I began to think about the number of minorities in jails, or hooked on drugs, etc. Have they forgotten who they are? Were they ever told? Do they not know their legacy?

We are the ultimate team, who were and still are the underdogs; however, we have started to gain ground and it looks like the game is about to be tied 3 to 3 in a seven game series. We are the only people in history that has had to ascend from the bottom to the top, and we have met that challenge in less than 4 generations. To achieve that enormous feat, we have incurred tremendous casualties, and we have lost several MVPs that were critical to our ascension. It is that price, paid for by the fears, tears, and blood of our ancestors, that we have forgotten. The charge for such a tremendous feat has been simply marked paid with no thought to the check writer, and no reconciliation of gratefulness, humility, and gratitude with the Bank of Spirit that has kept us for being insufficiently funded, and has allowed us to enjoy a bounceless freedom. It is a bank that doesn't charge us for our inactivity, or a dormancy fee for our lack of deposit of community service, agitation, and selflessness.

The above my friends is the price of freedom that we're riding on daily. Quite simply, not having to pay the toll in awhile is no excuse for not knowing the charge and reconciling one's soul with the Bank of Spirit because after all, the spirit is suppose to abide and rest within us. People often wonder how our community has gotten into this situation. It's not a mystery to me. If you don't reconcile with your past and deposit something into the Bank of Spirit, you have nothing to sustain you, which leaves you where most of us are, hopeless and bankrupt.

Remember this, when you're bankrupt, and you get that slip from the bank that states NSF, don't be surprised. After all, spending what others have saved without depositing anything yourself leaves Nothing Stored for the Future! And we're worried about acquiring a "Jesus Piece"? How ironic.

"Wake Up"

Two weeks ago, I took my wife to see the movie "Good Hair" presented by Chris Rock. Rock talks about the black hair business as a whole and the billions of dollars that it generates. He then goes on to show the flow of these billions of dollars out of the black community and into the pockets of the Koreans, Indians, Malaysians, and Chinese. As stated in the movie, no where in American culture but in the black community is another ethnic group allowed to set up shop and make millions off of another group. Rock went on to say that typically, if any other group tried to set up shop in a Korean, or Chinese neighbor, they would be forced out after being petitioned against. If that method to stop the business opening did not work, the neighborhood would simply not patronize the store, and force it to close. In the case of the hair "weave" business, a black person can not even get into the business if they wanted too because the Indians will not even sell hair to a non-Indian. It is important to note that India is the biggest exporter of hair, and that the mark up on the hair is 125%.

Wake up people! We have been taught to hate ourselves by buying into the European concepts of beauty. That concept of beauty is not natural. In many cases, they have paid to get Brazilian tans, African American lips, butts, and hips to comprise their now "European look". It's simply not natural. We have to start embracing ourselves, culture, and beauty. Wake up people! Understand that there is nothing wrong with having different concepts about beauty, however, having an entire culture lose it's identity to assimilate is dangerous. We are all made differently and uniquely for a serious. Diversity breeds strength.

Let's see if I understand correctly; billions of dollars leaving the African American community in the haircare business not making anyone in the immediate community wealthy, and black people themselves can not get into the business if they wanted to because most of the hair exporters refuse to sell to people outside of their own ethnic group. Wow.

Wake Up!!!!! People, Wake Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God's Talking to You

I went to bed early tonight. Around 8 o'clock to be exact. At 2 o'clock in the morning, I found myself wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. My wife woke up and asked if everything was okay. I told her it was; maybe I had gas or something since some pains were shooting in and around my abdomen and chest. Sure enough, the flatulence come and went, but I still come not sleep. Then I thought to myself, grandma and grand daddy always told me that if you can't sleep, or find yourself alone in the silence of the night, listen because God is trying to talk to you. I immediately started praying and initiated a conversation with God on my own because indeed we needed to talk.

This week was a pretty jam packed week for me at work, and so was last week. I have been going to the YMCA constantly and trying to stay healthy by eating healthy. I also have been dealing with my mother and all of her problems from unemployment to her pending foreclosure which are all problems caused directly by the bad choices that she has made. My brother and I have done everything we possibly can to get her to see she needs help to fight her alcohol addiction; however, most of those attempts fall on deaf ears and her harden heart because she feels that we, I, have abandoned her in life.

She is always the victim. According to her, not only does she not do anything to warrant so many atrocities, she feels that everyone has a problem with her because they are jealous, or don't like her because the didn't like her mother. I'm just tired of listening to the excuses and seeing the ignorance that has encapsulated her life. So my brother and I struggle now with being okay with allowing her foreclosure to happen because were are in a position to stop it. We bailed her out some many times before, and she has done nothing to change her position in life. She is still drinking and drunk most days of the week. She still has no job, but manages to afford her liquor. Meanwhile, most of her bills are two months behind along with the mortgage. We're listening God. We need your guidance.

That's just my family's saga; I have not even touched on the issues I have to be supportive of my wife on regarding her family. We simply don't have enough attention for me to go in to it all. We're listening God. We need your guidance.

I don't know what life holds for me, or my family, but I hope it always includes guidance and conversations with our heavenly counselor. And though sleep may suit me better, the day that I am not awaken in the night by the need to listen to God, I most surely will be frightened and worried about it. We all have to listen to our inner man, our spirit, that intuitive guidance that comes from within. It is important to note here that first, we have to learn to recognize what that voice sounds like. We cannot be so earthly that we forget that there is a battle going on between spirits and principalities. A battle for our souls and eternal life or eternal damnation. (Okay, that gave me goose bumps after I typed it) Listen to your inner person. Pray and learn to recognize when something better than yourself is trying to intervene in your life and impart wisdom for your benefit to edify God who may do a work for you, in you, or through you. Claw your way to his heart, or to the point in your life where you at least can recognize that God is talking. At that point, at your moment of clarity when the noise becomes a voice, it will be your choice to listen.

In the Company of Men

Last Monday, October 20, 2009, I ended a seven year stretch of working part time. I had been telling my wife for months that I was tired, and wanted to resign. She didn't think it was a good idea, so I decided to stay and remain miserable.

During my last review, my boss informed me that she was changing my work hours, and that I had not been hitting the previous expectations set in regards to my arrival time to the various offices she had me stationed. As cool as I could, I told her that my mornings involved my son's prep time for school, and in no way was I going to rush him through his morning to get to a part time job that changed my arrival time from my initial employment contract. My last comment to her was that I understood my priorities to be my family and then my job. I then stated that she needed to let me know when our arrangement did not work for her anymore and at that point we could part ways. On the 20th of October, I stood erect, confident, and secure in my decision not to sacrifice my time in the morning with my sons for the comfort of an A.M. cubicle; we parted ways.

My wife did not like the sequence of events that unfolded Monday, but I have no regrets. For the first time in a long time I feel free, uncompromising, and like a bad ass who just stuck it to the man, or in this case, the woman. Remember, this was a part time job. Yes, it afforded me roughly an extra $15k on the year, but who cares. I still have my full-time "take care of your family and secure your future" gig. Only the part time job had to go.

One week has past since my liberation, and I am still smashing my freedom. It's not often that you get a second honeymoon so I wanted to make sure I took full advantage of my newly found good fortune. I feel like I've come into my own with this experience. I feel like I've joined the ranks of men who forged their paths through life with no regrets, no shame, and strongly convicted in their beliefs and decisions. I simply can not put into words the joy I feel rolling by my old office, or when I see old colleagues going about their business. Knowing that I can choose to interact or not interact with them is priceless. And if I decide to interact, knowing that it will be on my terms gives me a cockiness that some may misread as arrogance. But the fact of the matter is that I can say what I want, and what I feel with no restraints. In that moment, that instance, that type of freedom in worth more than $15k. I've found my voice again, unbound, fighting silence, and contemplating raising hell. I've found my passion for expressing my opinion, and I'm able to discuss topics again without having to dumb them down to spare someones feelings, or mask their ignorance.

I'm not sure of what the future holds, or whether it's holding another part time job out there for me, but I do know that I'm in good company. I can afford my time again; I don't have to sell it to the highest bidder. It's a damn good feeling to be in the company of men.