"Wake Up"

Two weeks ago, I took my wife to see the movie "Good Hair" presented by Chris Rock. Rock talks about the black hair business as a whole and the billions of dollars that it generates. He then goes on to show the flow of these billions of dollars out of the black community and into the pockets of the Koreans, Indians, Malaysians, and Chinese. As stated in the movie, no where in American culture but in the black community is another ethnic group allowed to set up shop and make millions off of another group. Rock went on to say that typically, if any other group tried to set up shop in a Korean, or Chinese neighbor, they would be forced out after being petitioned against. If that method to stop the business opening did not work, the neighborhood would simply not patronize the store, and force it to close. In the case of the hair "weave" business, a black person can not even get into the business if they wanted too because the Indians will not even sell hair to a non-Indian. It is important to note that India is the biggest exporter of hair, and that the mark up on the hair is 125%.

Wake up people! We have been taught to hate ourselves by buying into the European concepts of beauty. That concept of beauty is not natural. In many cases, they have paid to get Brazilian tans, African American lips, butts, and hips to comprise their now "European look". It's simply not natural. We have to start embracing ourselves, culture, and beauty. Wake up people! Understand that there is nothing wrong with having different concepts about beauty, however, having an entire culture lose it's identity to assimilate is dangerous. We are all made differently and uniquely for a serious. Diversity breeds strength.

Let's see if I understand correctly; billions of dollars leaving the African American community in the haircare business not making anyone in the immediate community wealthy, and black people themselves can not get into the business if they wanted to because most of the hair exporters refuse to sell to people outside of their own ethnic group. Wow.

Wake Up!!!!! People, Wake Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God's Talking to You

I went to bed early tonight. Around 8 o'clock to be exact. At 2 o'clock in the morning, I found myself wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. My wife woke up and asked if everything was okay. I told her it was; maybe I had gas or something since some pains were shooting in and around my abdomen and chest. Sure enough, the flatulence come and went, but I still come not sleep. Then I thought to myself, grandma and grand daddy always told me that if you can't sleep, or find yourself alone in the silence of the night, listen because God is trying to talk to you. I immediately started praying and initiated a conversation with God on my own because indeed we needed to talk.

This week was a pretty jam packed week for me at work, and so was last week. I have been going to the YMCA constantly and trying to stay healthy by eating healthy. I also have been dealing with my mother and all of her problems from unemployment to her pending foreclosure which are all problems caused directly by the bad choices that she has made. My brother and I have done everything we possibly can to get her to see she needs help to fight her alcohol addiction; however, most of those attempts fall on deaf ears and her harden heart because she feels that we, I, have abandoned her in life.

She is always the victim. According to her, not only does she not do anything to warrant so many atrocities, she feels that everyone has a problem with her because they are jealous, or don't like her because the didn't like her mother. I'm just tired of listening to the excuses and seeing the ignorance that has encapsulated her life. So my brother and I struggle now with being okay with allowing her foreclosure to happen because were are in a position to stop it. We bailed her out some many times before, and she has done nothing to change her position in life. She is still drinking and drunk most days of the week. She still has no job, but manages to afford her liquor. Meanwhile, most of her bills are two months behind along with the mortgage. We're listening God. We need your guidance.

That's just my family's saga; I have not even touched on the issues I have to be supportive of my wife on regarding her family. We simply don't have enough attention for me to go in to it all. We're listening God. We need your guidance.

I don't know what life holds for me, or my family, but I hope it always includes guidance and conversations with our heavenly counselor. And though sleep may suit me better, the day that I am not awaken in the night by the need to listen to God, I most surely will be frightened and worried about it. We all have to listen to our inner man, our spirit, that intuitive guidance that comes from within. It is important to note here that first, we have to learn to recognize what that voice sounds like. We cannot be so earthly that we forget that there is a battle going on between spirits and principalities. A battle for our souls and eternal life or eternal damnation. (Okay, that gave me goose bumps after I typed it) Listen to your inner person. Pray and learn to recognize when something better than yourself is trying to intervene in your life and impart wisdom for your benefit to edify God who may do a work for you, in you, or through you. Claw your way to his heart, or to the point in your life where you at least can recognize that God is talking. At that point, at your moment of clarity when the noise becomes a voice, it will be your choice to listen.

In the Company of Men

Last Monday, October 20, 2009, I ended a seven year stretch of working part time. I had been telling my wife for months that I was tired, and wanted to resign. She didn't think it was a good idea, so I decided to stay and remain miserable.

During my last review, my boss informed me that she was changing my work hours, and that I had not been hitting the previous expectations set in regards to my arrival time to the various offices she had me stationed. As cool as I could, I told her that my mornings involved my son's prep time for school, and in no way was I going to rush him through his morning to get to a part time job that changed my arrival time from my initial employment contract. My last comment to her was that I understood my priorities to be my family and then my job. I then stated that she needed to let me know when our arrangement did not work for her anymore and at that point we could part ways. On the 20th of October, I stood erect, confident, and secure in my decision not to sacrifice my time in the morning with my sons for the comfort of an A.M. cubicle; we parted ways.

My wife did not like the sequence of events that unfolded Monday, but I have no regrets. For the first time in a long time I feel free, uncompromising, and like a bad ass who just stuck it to the man, or in this case, the woman. Remember, this was a part time job. Yes, it afforded me roughly an extra $15k on the year, but who cares. I still have my full-time "take care of your family and secure your future" gig. Only the part time job had to go.

One week has past since my liberation, and I am still smashing my freedom. It's not often that you get a second honeymoon so I wanted to make sure I took full advantage of my newly found good fortune. I feel like I've come into my own with this experience. I feel like I've joined the ranks of men who forged their paths through life with no regrets, no shame, and strongly convicted in their beliefs and decisions. I simply can not put into words the joy I feel rolling by my old office, or when I see old colleagues going about their business. Knowing that I can choose to interact or not interact with them is priceless. And if I decide to interact, knowing that it will be on my terms gives me a cockiness that some may misread as arrogance. But the fact of the matter is that I can say what I want, and what I feel with no restraints. In that moment, that instance, that type of freedom in worth more than $15k. I've found my voice again, unbound, fighting silence, and contemplating raising hell. I've found my passion for expressing my opinion, and I'm able to discuss topics again without having to dumb them down to spare someones feelings, or mask their ignorance.

I'm not sure of what the future holds, or whether it's holding another part time job out there for me, but I do know that I'm in good company. I can afford my time again; I don't have to sell it to the highest bidder. It's a damn good feeling to be in the company of men.

Setting the record straight on the Wilson Debate: What's the issue?

People,

The allegation is that Wilson may have used racial bias because he felt comfortable enough to be disrespectful to the office of the President. It is a comfort that was reached because the President is Black. This notion that no one can disagree with the President is ridiculous; he was rude, disrespectful, unprofessional, ignorant, maniacal and moronic. All liberties that some feel he would have kept reserved if the President was still a white man.

The "You Lie" heard around the world.

I was raised in South Carolina, and I'm a supporter of the President. Race does not dominant everything Obama here, but it's definitely in the background. The culture of this state is unique; it's one that can only be understood by someone raised in the atmosphere. I'm sure the President doesn't think that Wilson was being racist. However, I would say the President has no frame of reference to draw the appropriate conclusion from Wilson's comment. From a cultural environmental standpoint, Wilson is the product of a tradition of bigotry in a State historically known for its inherent hatred of people based on their skin color.

As a young Black man growing up in SC, I was told by my parents to never stop in certain places, and if I needed help or got stranded in different locations, to stay in my car until an officer came to assist. My point is that today most people are not outright bigots because it's not the "proper thing", but if given a chance when no one is looking, they will jump at a chance to practice the art of bigotry passed down to them. Not since the beginning of the century has anything ever happened like this, not once. Even when Clinton was going through his sex scandal, or when Bush gave speeches after finding no WMD, did anyone call out in such an ignorant display of incivility?

To Wilson and many like him, it's easy to disrespect the President because before he sees the President of the US, he sees a Black Man that's not equal to him in intellect and status. It's easy to call someone a liar when you've been taught to degrade and trivialize their mere existence in your world. This "pseudo-dominance" is ramped throughout this State. Hopefully with the election of Sheheen or Rex, we can begin an in-depth discussion on race relations to change the attitudes of many in the state.

We get a Black President, and then we get the following firsts: Citizenship is questioned, First President to legitimately be labeled the "Anti-Christ", "First President, based on name only, to be labeled a Muslim Extremist, First to be Criticized for Taking his wife to dinner (Contrary to what is shown in the media, many of us, black men, take care of our family and are attentive to our spouse), and the First President to have to fight to keep companies from stereotypical commercializing his children. In every field of human endeavor, the rules are different, or changed, when it comes to Black folk. It is my hope the President Obama doesn't forget that and get to comfortable in the dogma of American politics.

"Obama: On the Cusp of Greatness"

As a young man, I remember taking my grandfather to the VA hospital for his visits, and sitting for hours for service. I remember the delicate balancing act of making $1424 stretch to cover the cost of maintaining a home, eating, and supporting two grandsons in college. But my grandfather, with grace, dignity, and class, made it work. We never knew how difficult it was for him until he passed. We never knew that he had nothing in the bank, savings or checking, because it took everything he received monthly to pay for prescription after prescription, one pair of glasses after the next, etc. I understand him more today than I ever did in the past because I have a family now. I'm a better man because of his wisdom, and his hardships.

The "Health Care" debate is very real to me; I've been in overnight meetings, and have taking 6am wake up calls to lessen the blow of the lack of conversation concerning it up to this point. My wife and I welcomed a healthy baby boy to the world in April; we didn't welcome the burden of debt that came with him. Initially, we were given an estimation of what we would owe once the insurance paid, along with a request to go ahead and pay our projected portion in advance. As if, As if we had a couple of thousand sitting ahead to prepay for health cost. To complicate things even more, my wife developed diabetes, which required additional monitoring and scheduled appointments with an Endocrinologist. Long story short, we paid an average of $380 a month in medical bills that were not in our monthly budget the nine months she was pregnant. This cost didn't include the insulin, needles, or other supplies needed to maintain her health. Thankfully, we made it through, but not before we started receiving calls from collection companies working for the hospital or fighting the insurance companies to have claims paid that were refused the first or second time before they were finally paid.

President Obama's speech resonated with me because of my experiences in childhood as well as my experiences as an adult trying to maintain a healthy family without going bankrupt doing so. I'm a registered Democrat, but I don't care whether the solutions to our societal ills come from a Republican or a Democratic. I do, however, care about whether they are effective and efficient. It was important to me that the President referenced those across the aisle like John McCain, who had an idea fused in the melting pot of resolution. I needed to be reassured that my elected officials were more concerned about me than having their political egos stroked, or advancing their individual political agendas.

I watched his speech, so elegant and poignantly delivered, but it was not until I read it for myself that the words of the late Ted Kennedy settled in my spirit with such conviction and relevance to this debate. His question was simple, “What is the character of our country, our nation?" At the end of the day, we are all in this thing together. Differences aside, we're hurting. We all feel the daily sting of rising health care costs. With the spirits of pragmatism, civility, and compromise, we have to move forward towards creating a more inclusive society in which every life matters.

One child without healthcare should make us all anguish. One senior in bankruptcy because of health cost should cause us to be disgusted. One father, or mother having to tell a gravely ill child that a cure is available but not attainable because of cost should pierce our empathetic souls and propel use forward with such a kinetic jostle that we take immediate and deliberate action to affect change and lay the ground work for the infrastructure of communication that must take place between Democrats, Independents, and Republicans to ensure our futures are not held captive by the hope of future compromise.

Hotep!

Dr. Cosby

I'm not sure who wrote this but, I had to post it. It sums up so much of what I feel and say on a daily basis to friends and family, or anyone who will listen. Preach on Dr. Cosby, preach on!

(Anonymous)
The Reverend Jesse Jackson almost never gets
upstaged and I had never seen the Reverend
Jesse Louis Jackson cry in public until last month.
Jackson invited Bill Cosby to the annual Rainbow /
PUSH conference for a conversation about the
controversial remarks the entertainer offered on
May 17 at an NAACP dinner in Washington, D.C.
when America 's Jell-O Man shook things up
by arguing that African Americans were betraying
the legacy of civil rights victories. Cosby said
'the lower economic people are not holding up their
end in this deal. These people are not parenting.
They are buying things for their kids. .
$500 sneakers for what? But they won't spend $200
for Hooked on Phonics!'

Bill Cosby came to town and upstaged the reverend
by going on the offense instead of defending his
earlier remarks. Thursday morning, Cosby showed
no signs of repenting as he strode across the stage
at the Sheraton Hotel ballroom before a standing
room only crowd. Sporting a natty gold sports coat
and dark glasses, he proceeded to unload a Laundry
list of black America 's self-imposed ills. The iconic
actor and comedian kidded that he couldn't compete
with the oratory of the Reverend but he preached
circles around Jackson in their nearly hour-long
conversation, delivering brutally frank one-liners
and the toughest of love.

The enemy, he argues, is us: "There is a time,
ladies and gentlemen, when we have to turn
the mirror around." Cosby acknowledged he wasn't
critiquing all blacks. . .. just the 50 percent of African
Americans in the lower economic neighborhood
who =2 0 drop out of school, and the alarming proportions
of black men in prison and black teenage mothers.
The mostly black crowd seconded him with choruses
of Amens.

To the critics who pose, it's unproductive to air our
dirty laundry in public, he responds,
"Your dirty laundry gets out of school at 2:30 every day."
It's cursing on the way home, on the bus, train,
in the candy store. They are cursing and grabbing
each other and going nowhere. The book bag is very,
very thin because there's nothing in it.
Don't worry about the white man, he added.
I could care less about what white people think
about me. . . Let them talk.

What are they saying that is so different from what
their grandfathers said and did to us?
What is different is what we are doing to ourselves.
For those who say Cosby is just an elitist who's
"got his" but doesn't understand the plight of the
black poor, he reminds us that,
"We're going to turn that mirror around.
It's not just the poor-everybody's guilty."
Cosby and Jackson lamented that in the 50th years
of Brown vs. Board of Education, our failings betray
our legacy. Jackson dabbed away tears as he
recalled the financial struggles at Fisk University ,
a historically black college and Jackson 's Alma mater.
When Cosby was done, the 1,000 people in the room
all jumped to their feet in ovation.
We have shed tears too many times, at too many
watershed moments before, while the hopes they inspired
have fallen by the wayside. Not this time!
Cosby's plea to parents:
"Before you get to the point where you say 'I can't do
nothing with them' , do something with them."
Teach our children to speak English.
There's no such thing as "talki ng white".
When the teacher calls, show up at the school.
When the idiot box starts spewing profane rap videos;
turn it off. Refrain from cursing around the kids.
Teach our boys that women should be cherished,
not raped and demeaned.

Tell them that education is a prize we won with blood
and tears, not a dishonor.
Stop making excuses for the agents and abettors
of black on black crime.
It costs us nothing to do these things.
But if we don't, it will cost us infinitely more tears.