I went to bed early tonight. Around 8 o'clock to be exact. At 2 o'clock in the morning, I found myself wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. My wife woke up and asked if everything was okay. I told her it was; maybe I had gas or something since some pains were shooting in and around my abdomen and chest. Sure enough, the flatulence come and went, but I still come not sleep. Then I thought to myself, grandma and grand daddy always told me that if you can't sleep, or find yourself alone in the silence of the night, listen because God is trying to talk to you. I immediately started praying and initiated a conversation with God on my own because indeed we needed to talk.
This week was a pretty jam packed week for me at work, and so was last week. I have been going to the YMCA constantly and trying to stay healthy by eating healthy. I also have been dealing with my mother and all of her problems from unemployment to her pending foreclosure which are all problems caused directly by the bad choices that she has made. My brother and I have done everything we possibly can to get her to see she needs help to fight her alcohol addiction; however, most of those attempts fall on deaf ears and her harden heart because she feels that we, I, have abandoned her in life.
She is always the victim. According to her, not only does she not do anything to warrant so many atrocities, she feels that everyone has a problem with her because they are jealous, or don't like her because the didn't like her mother. I'm just tired of listening to the excuses and seeing the ignorance that has encapsulated her life. So my brother and I struggle now with being okay with allowing her foreclosure to happen because were are in a position to stop it. We bailed her out some many times before, and she has done nothing to change her position in life. She is still drinking and drunk most days of the week. She still has no job, but manages to afford her liquor. Meanwhile, most of her bills are two months behind along with the mortgage. We're listening God. We need your guidance.
That's just my family's saga; I have not even touched on the issues I have to be supportive of my wife on regarding her family. We simply don't have enough attention for me to go in to it all. We're listening God. We need your guidance.
I don't know what life holds for me, or my family, but I hope it always includes guidance and conversations with our heavenly counselor. And though sleep may suit me better, the day that I am not awaken in the night by the need to listen to God, I most surely will be frightened and worried about it. We all have to listen to our inner man, our spirit, that intuitive guidance that comes from within. It is important to note here that first, we have to learn to recognize what that voice sounds like. We cannot be so earthly that we forget that there is a battle going on between spirits and principalities. A battle for our souls and eternal life or eternal damnation. (Okay, that gave me goose bumps after I typed it) Listen to your inner person. Pray and learn to recognize when something better than yourself is trying to intervene in your life and impart wisdom for your benefit to edify God who may do a work for you, in you, or through you. Claw your way to his heart, or to the point in your life where you at least can recognize that God is talking. At that point, at your moment of clarity when the noise becomes a voice, it will be your choice to listen.
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