I believe it's dangerous to hypothesize on the intent of the "Foundering Fathers". It's unfortunate that many of the diatribes concerning individual rights, as outlined in the constitution, come on the heels of an African American President. As a historian by degree, in my studies I've found that bigotry often is masked in pseudo concern for literal interpretation of the constitution. As I listen to Glenn Beck, or Fox News in general, ranting about the constitution, I wonder where their concerns were when the former President initiated unlawful wiretaps, and established the Patriot Act, which caused the most erosion of US citizens' rights to date. I wonder where the analyse of individual rights, liberties, and lives were when we were bamboozled into the Iraqi War. Now, lets bring it home, for that matter, where was all of this discussion about the intent of the foundering fathers, and alienable rights when the citizens of New Orleans were displaced, discounted, and discarded? There was no discussion of their alienable rights; the main right in the wake of Katrina was simply their right to life. But there was no discussion by the media or conservatives because there was no concern for, as they described, a disenfranchised second class rate of black and brown people.
Yemassee Native American blood flows through my veins; remember when my ancestors were murdered and enslaved so that the Anglo and Celtic "Christians" could steal their land? Everyone seems to forget about that holocaust. Native American blood flows through my veins so don't talk to me about the intent of the Founding Fathers. Indians, a cogent misnomer as America was already founded and inhabited by it's native people, Native Americans, the true Americans.
Now that the President of the United States is Black, conservatives "want their country back". Who stole it? I would feel better if they said they just wanted it back from the control of a Black Man. Are we not all adults? Please people, on both sides, just say what you mean, and mean what you say. Be careful; however, for every action or opinion, there is a reaction or counter opinion that could affect you and your business, if applicable.
Welcome to "Polished Before I Shined", intended to gave a fluid dynamic fresh perspective on a variety of subjects from Fatherhood to Finances. As a young African American (no hyphen) professional who has obtained a certain level of success in life relatively quickly, I wanted to share some lessons I have learned along my journey from the "Housing Projects" to the "Board Room". I welcome you to my journey of discovering how life has a way of polishing us all in preparation for our "Shine"!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
"A Gates Story: Part II"
By now, many of us are probably tired of this story; however, I would be remiss if I didn't use my legal mind to analyze the initial situation. First, there was a call made to 911. Now that the tape has been released, we know that the "two black guys" story was false. Secondly, we have to look at the charge itself, Public Disorderly Conduct. In order for someone to be arrested for Public Disorderly Conduct, the State must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that their actions did the following: affected the public, that the defendant intended to cause a public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, or recklessly created a risk of public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm.
In order for a defendant to be found guilty under MA law of this offense, his actions must have been reasonably likely to affect the public, that is, the public meaning a place to which the public or a substantial group has access. Thirdly, A person must act recklessly when he consciously ignores, or is indifferent to, the probable outcome of his actions. In other words, the defendant was reckless if he knew, or must have known, that his actions would create a substantial and unjustifiable risk of public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, but he chose, nevertheless, to run the risk and go ahead with his actions.
Based merely on the definition of "Public" as described in the law, Dr. Gates was not guilty of the alleged crime. Going further into the law, since all other elements hinge on actions being held in "public", he should have not been arrested at his Cambridge home.
Now do I think Officer Crowley is a bigot, No. But do I think he got pissed off that Dr. Gates, or anyone for that matter, had the audacity to question him while performing his duties, Yes! Because of that, he arrested a man that should not have been arrested. The system is set up so that charges, however false in many misdemeanor cases, can be brought by an officer and the defendant has to prove his innocence. Do I also think that Dr. Gates got pissed about being questioned in his home even after he proved who he was, Yes! I would have been pissed too; clearly as stated by the President, cool heads did not prevail.
Officers have to be held accountable; it's part of what keep the system the best in the world. What I don't understand are people who say Crowley can not be a bigot because he taught profiling class and diversity training. Well, that's just an ignorant statement. The history of policing in this country does not lend itself to that conclusion. Officers during the early part of the previous century were sworn to serve and protect their citizens, however, many minorities, specifically Blacks, lost their lives on their watch, and some, by their actual hands. Again, I say I don't think he's a bigot, but teaching diversity or profiling classes doesn't exclude him for the offense of bigotry.
People were also concerned about the black officer coming to the defense of his co-worker/co-union member peer against another black man. What was he suppose to do? Do you honestly think an officer was going to go against another officer regarding actions in the line of duty? If he did, he would have been isolated. Because of his natural obligation to the job, his account and endorsement, whenever given, is bias from inception.
Now that we've gone through the racial implications and everyone is ready to get over it with a can of beer at the White House, let me just say that I'm glad the President had the coconuts to jump into this conversation. That decision was monumental; this is not Washington "as usual". Many stated that he should have left this situation alone because it was a local issue. On the contrary, for the first African American President, a case that so divided the country along racial lines was, and is not a local issue. It's a national issue. This had the potential to rip his base in half, and malign, to use his word, the efforts made in such a historic election. We all have to remain sensitive to racial issues, but race does not have to dominant all discussions and differences of opinion between African Americans and Anglo Americans.
In order for a defendant to be found guilty under MA law of this offense, his actions must have been reasonably likely to affect the public, that is, the public meaning a place to which the public or a substantial group has access. Thirdly, A person must act recklessly when he consciously ignores, or is indifferent to, the probable outcome of his actions. In other words, the defendant was reckless if he knew, or must have known, that his actions would create a substantial and unjustifiable risk of public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, but he chose, nevertheless, to run the risk and go ahead with his actions.
Based merely on the definition of "Public" as described in the law, Dr. Gates was not guilty of the alleged crime. Going further into the law, since all other elements hinge on actions being held in "public", he should have not been arrested at his Cambridge home.
Now do I think Officer Crowley is a bigot, No. But do I think he got pissed off that Dr. Gates, or anyone for that matter, had the audacity to question him while performing his duties, Yes! Because of that, he arrested a man that should not have been arrested. The system is set up so that charges, however false in many misdemeanor cases, can be brought by an officer and the defendant has to prove his innocence. Do I also think that Dr. Gates got pissed about being questioned in his home even after he proved who he was, Yes! I would have been pissed too; clearly as stated by the President, cool heads did not prevail.
Officers have to be held accountable; it's part of what keep the system the best in the world. What I don't understand are people who say Crowley can not be a bigot because he taught profiling class and diversity training. Well, that's just an ignorant statement. The history of policing in this country does not lend itself to that conclusion. Officers during the early part of the previous century were sworn to serve and protect their citizens, however, many minorities, specifically Blacks, lost their lives on their watch, and some, by their actual hands. Again, I say I don't think he's a bigot, but teaching diversity or profiling classes doesn't exclude him for the offense of bigotry.
People were also concerned about the black officer coming to the defense of his co-worker/co-union member peer against another black man. What was he suppose to do? Do you honestly think an officer was going to go against another officer regarding actions in the line of duty? If he did, he would have been isolated. Because of his natural obligation to the job, his account and endorsement, whenever given, is bias from inception.
Now that we've gone through the racial implications and everyone is ready to get over it with a can of beer at the White House, let me just say that I'm glad the President had the coconuts to jump into this conversation. That decision was monumental; this is not Washington "as usual". Many stated that he should have left this situation alone because it was a local issue. On the contrary, for the first African American President, a case that so divided the country along racial lines was, and is not a local issue. It's a national issue. This had the potential to rip his base in half, and malign, to use his word, the efforts made in such a historic election. We all have to remain sensitive to racial issues, but race does not have to dominant all discussions and differences of opinion between African Americans and Anglo Americans.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Stepping on the "Souls of Black Folk": A Gates Story
I'm so overwhelmed when it comes to this incident that I don't know where to begin. Dr. Gates has lived only hours of the many years that so many African Americans, specifically African American men, have lived. I've been a Jurist for 5.5 years and I can tell you from experience that it's very upsetting to see what happens to the poor, disenfranchised litigant.
Honesty speaking, I was appalled but not shocked when I got the email, the phone call, and the text concerning Dr. Gates. I too have been profiled and mistreated by police. As a young professional representative for the former Daimler Chrysler in PA, I was pulled over and held for twenty minutes roadside by a PA highway patrol for no apparent reason. I had recently left the Philadelphia airport and was headed to my office in Malvern up 426 when I was stopped. After checking my credentials, the trooper said have a nice day. I then said "excuse me officer, but why was I stopped?" He then said very sternly this time, "I said have a nice day", and went back to his car without addressing my question. Thirty minutes passed and I received a phone call from my new office. They were concerned that I may get stopped because they had neglected to change the tag on my new corporate vehicle and the manufacturing tag currently displayed was expired!
It's a funny thing though, the trooper never mentioned my expired tag; he was too concerned with the young Black man driving the new "decked out" Chrysler 300M with manufacturer's plates to be bothered with me actually breaking the law. My crime was "Driving While Black"; for so many of us, our crime is simply living while "black".
My second incident happened in Chester, PA. I was finishing up a tutoring session with some inner-city kids and upon dropping them off home I was stopped by policemen. I had pulled in front of the young man's home for him to get off safely, and while waiting for him to reach his front door, the officers informed me to move it. I pulled off immediately, but noticed that the officers were following me. Three blocks down, they pulled beside me, two older black cops, and asked me who was the owner of my car. I replied with "who's driving it". That was the wrong thing to say. They ordered my to the shoulder of the road and pulled next to me downed their windows and started to ask me all types of questions. Finally, the officer driving got out of the vehicle to check my license and registration. Upon reviewing my credentials, he turned to his partner and stated "oh, we got us a college boy!" He went on to comment about my Brooks Brothers suit jacket hanging in the rear of my vehicle. When the ordeal was done, I was left with a standing/stopping in the road violation and a fine of $95.00. This did not sit well with me, so I went to court.
On the court date, I appeared before a very strict "Black" judge who treated me like I was a thug and the officers could have done no wrong. I informed the judge that the stop was not valid because my initial stop was were I was stopped/standing in the road; however, the charge didn't actually happen until I was stopped for the second time. How could I be charged for an infraction that wasn't charged during the first stop initiated by the officers? Short of telling me to shut up, the judge instructed me to be quiet. He then went on to say that I had admitted to being in the road and that I was guilty. Luckily for me, I had met the Chester Police Commissioner's daughter at a party and through her, I was able to speak with the commissioner about the incident. He apologized and informed me that I was in a bad area known for drug activity, and that I fit the description: young, black, and driving a fancy car (that damn 300M). He also informed me not to worry. I digress, the judge ripped me a new one and ended by saying that if I broke any more laws it didn't matter who I knew, I would be fine and assessed appropriately. Then he found me not guilty.
I knew, based on his last comment that the Commissioner must have called him to discuss my case. But what would have happened if I didn't know Nicole, and she didn't connect me with her father? People, officers lie, officers manipulate, and officers hold back information to get their desired outcome. Not all officers are power hungry. The majority of them do a wonderful job, but the few that have their own agenda, or egos to stroke, can bring hell on earth to citizens, as in the case of our beloved Dr. Gates.
Honesty speaking, I was appalled but not shocked when I got the email, the phone call, and the text concerning Dr. Gates. I too have been profiled and mistreated by police. As a young professional representative for the former Daimler Chrysler in PA, I was pulled over and held for twenty minutes roadside by a PA highway patrol for no apparent reason. I had recently left the Philadelphia airport and was headed to my office in Malvern up 426 when I was stopped. After checking my credentials, the trooper said have a nice day. I then said "excuse me officer, but why was I stopped?" He then said very sternly this time, "I said have a nice day", and went back to his car without addressing my question. Thirty minutes passed and I received a phone call from my new office. They were concerned that I may get stopped because they had neglected to change the tag on my new corporate vehicle and the manufacturing tag currently displayed was expired!
It's a funny thing though, the trooper never mentioned my expired tag; he was too concerned with the young Black man driving the new "decked out" Chrysler 300M with manufacturer's plates to be bothered with me actually breaking the law. My crime was "Driving While Black"; for so many of us, our crime is simply living while "black".
My second incident happened in Chester, PA. I was finishing up a tutoring session with some inner-city kids and upon dropping them off home I was stopped by policemen. I had pulled in front of the young man's home for him to get off safely, and while waiting for him to reach his front door, the officers informed me to move it. I pulled off immediately, but noticed that the officers were following me. Three blocks down, they pulled beside me, two older black cops, and asked me who was the owner of my car. I replied with "who's driving it". That was the wrong thing to say. They ordered my to the shoulder of the road and pulled next to me downed their windows and started to ask me all types of questions. Finally, the officer driving got out of the vehicle to check my license and registration. Upon reviewing my credentials, he turned to his partner and stated "oh, we got us a college boy!" He went on to comment about my Brooks Brothers suit jacket hanging in the rear of my vehicle. When the ordeal was done, I was left with a standing/stopping in the road violation and a fine of $95.00. This did not sit well with me, so I went to court.
On the court date, I appeared before a very strict "Black" judge who treated me like I was a thug and the officers could have done no wrong. I informed the judge that the stop was not valid because my initial stop was were I was stopped/standing in the road; however, the charge didn't actually happen until I was stopped for the second time. How could I be charged for an infraction that wasn't charged during the first stop initiated by the officers? Short of telling me to shut up, the judge instructed me to be quiet. He then went on to say that I had admitted to being in the road and that I was guilty. Luckily for me, I had met the Chester Police Commissioner's daughter at a party and through her, I was able to speak with the commissioner about the incident. He apologized and informed me that I was in a bad area known for drug activity, and that I fit the description: young, black, and driving a fancy car (that damn 300M). He also informed me not to worry. I digress, the judge ripped me a new one and ended by saying that if I broke any more laws it didn't matter who I knew, I would be fine and assessed appropriately. Then he found me not guilty.
I knew, based on his last comment that the Commissioner must have called him to discuss my case. But what would have happened if I didn't know Nicole, and she didn't connect me with her father? People, officers lie, officers manipulate, and officers hold back information to get their desired outcome. Not all officers are power hungry. The majority of them do a wonderful job, but the few that have their own agenda, or egos to stroke, can bring hell on earth to citizens, as in the case of our beloved Dr. Gates.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Is Anybody Listening?
Lately, I've been feeling like I'm not doing enough in life. And I'm wondering if I'm alone. My mind has been bombarded with so many negative news events that I believe there has to be a natural tipping point that occurs which would balance the current world climate. Okay, I know that's a little broad, so let me bring it in closer.
I believe I, we, need to be doing more to help our community. The Black Community, and the community at large, needs the attention that it has gone without for so long. We all have an obligation to reach back and assist those who are struggling, and lagging behind the eight ball of progress. Most importantly, we all have an obligation to contribute to the cause. That contribution may be monetary, or it can be with our time. Historically, we were there. We were at a point where community mattered and we took responsibility for ourselves as well as our friends and neighbors.
One of my main goals is to put a new face on Minority Fatherhood; it is my hope that through my efforts, we can begin to change the picture of black fatherhood often associated with "dead beat dads" and replace it with one of dignity and honor. That's just one of the many issues I would like to tackle. As a think about all I want to do, I decided to ask myself whether or not I had usefully applied my passion when it came to my own family and extended family. I concluded that I had given it a go when it came to my family; however, my family was resistant to my efforts and I finally decided to move onto to others who wanted better in life, and who were more appreciative of my efforts to assist.
So if anybody is listening, understand, we must implore those around us to listen to sources of positive information that will assist them in reaching their personal goals. They must listen to different ways to reach their goals and possess an attitude that will conspire with the universe to pull them into their abundance. As messengers, we also have to be guarded and not allow ourselves to be pulled into the abyss of apathy and despair. As messengers, we must be mindful to make sure our message is going out into fertile minds; minds ready for tilling so that fruit from their new found knowledge can not just grow, but flourish. Hotep!!!
I believe I, we, need to be doing more to help our community. The Black Community, and the community at large, needs the attention that it has gone without for so long. We all have an obligation to reach back and assist those who are struggling, and lagging behind the eight ball of progress. Most importantly, we all have an obligation to contribute to the cause. That contribution may be monetary, or it can be with our time. Historically, we were there. We were at a point where community mattered and we took responsibility for ourselves as well as our friends and neighbors.
One of my main goals is to put a new face on Minority Fatherhood; it is my hope that through my efforts, we can begin to change the picture of black fatherhood often associated with "dead beat dads" and replace it with one of dignity and honor. That's just one of the many issues I would like to tackle. As a think about all I want to do, I decided to ask myself whether or not I had usefully applied my passion when it came to my own family and extended family. I concluded that I had given it a go when it came to my family; however, my family was resistant to my efforts and I finally decided to move onto to others who wanted better in life, and who were more appreciative of my efforts to assist.
So if anybody is listening, understand, we must implore those around us to listen to sources of positive information that will assist them in reaching their personal goals. They must listen to different ways to reach their goals and possess an attitude that will conspire with the universe to pull them into their abundance. As messengers, we also have to be guarded and not allow ourselves to be pulled into the abyss of apathy and despair. As messengers, we must be mindful to make sure our message is going out into fertile minds; minds ready for tilling so that fruit from their new found knowledge can not just grow, but flourish. Hotep!!!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Who will cry for the children?
There I was, sitting in my office at the bank and ready to help the next customer when she walked in with her children. Two boys, the oldest 2, and the youngest 1 year old, were with her. I knew they existed because for the previous 30 minutes as she waited in the lobby, they terrorized patrons and staff. They hollered, screamed, threw things, and even ran around like wild men. She, a young African American female, was the classic picture of brokenness. When our eyes met, my soul became empathetic to her circumstance, and her present and future struggle. All I could think of was where in the hell is the father of these two young black boys who are to become men. Where is he? My eyes watered as I watched them spin out of control. They glazed over with a sea-like shine as I watched the oldest try but fail to stab his younger brother with the pen off of my desk. I watched as his eyes encapsulated some of the evil he has been exposed too before he forcefully committed his act. I watched the youngest fall from my chair and hit head first at the bridge of his nose on the corner of my desk after standing and not being told to sit in my chair. Then I watched this young mother with no care grab him by one arm and sling he into his chair repeatedly; I could tell she loved them but she had no parenting skills. I know this because during the course of our conversation, this young lady told me that she had just moved out of her mother's house and that her mom was the standard of discipline in her boys' lives. To me, that explained her lack of control. She was Cindy to them; not mom. After having this thought, the oldest call her Cindy (not her real name) to get her attention, and my heart grew heavier; where is/are their fathers?
It is a very difficult task to raise children, not to mention trying to do it alone. In a world already stacked trump tight against them, these boys chances of succeeding are slim. They are going to have to be taught to fight! But who will teach them? In school, if their behavior doesn't change, they'll surely be tracked. That record will follow them throughout their educational experience. Who will cry for the little boys? Who will cry for these children? I was so heart broken at the prospects for their lives that I had to start talking to friends about what we can do to help our children. Now that the conversation has started, it is my hope that we will channel our energy into some mode of action. If not us, who will cry, and who will fight for our children? Must their dreams be deferred at inception?
It is a very difficult task to raise children, not to mention trying to do it alone. In a world already stacked trump tight against them, these boys chances of succeeding are slim. They are going to have to be taught to fight! But who will teach them? In school, if their behavior doesn't change, they'll surely be tracked. That record will follow them throughout their educational experience. Who will cry for the little boys? Who will cry for these children? I was so heart broken at the prospects for their lives that I had to start talking to friends about what we can do to help our children. Now that the conversation has started, it is my hope that we will channel our energy into some mode of action. If not us, who will cry, and who will fight for our children? Must their dreams be deferred at inception?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Our Ancestors
I often wonder if I would have been strong enough to withstand the mistreatment, degradation, and shame that slavery inflicted on our people. Would I have been strong enough to work tirelessly day in and day with little or no pay? Would I have been able to watch my wife, or daughter ripped away from me,or watch my brother, or son sold away from me and still have my sanity intact? I thank God everyday that I will never have to answer those questions.
When the mainstream media talk about family, or in the case of African Americans, the lack of a nuclear family, they often fail to mention the erosion factors that have carried our family to its current state. Slavery challenged the Black family and rocked it to its core. Jim Crow ripped up the esteem of the Black family and caused it to doubt itself, or see themselves as inadequate, less than human. In a nutshell, the law suppressed the Black family legally for years before anyone dared challenge the humanity of it all.
Slavery by Another Name by Douglas A. Blackmon is a book written that dares to bring to light ills perpetrated by the law on black men from the Civil War to World War II. (I hope you are ready to go to school) Did you know that if a white man went to his local Sheriff's Office and stated that a particular black man owed him money that the sheriff would throw said black man in jail? He would then release him to work for the plaintiff (white man) until his debt was paid off. Now understand, there was never any proof offered, the white man would set some arbitrary number, and then release said black man months or years after supposed debt would have been satisfied. This practice was widely practiced in the South. Unfortunately, many of the victims fell into a cycle of indebtedness to their accusers based on behavior while working for them to pay off their false debt.
By this point, I'm hoping that you are beginning to see some of the factors of erosion at work as perpetrated. Many would have you believe that black men are lazy, horrible fathers, and ignorant when it comes to maintaining their families. It's simply not true. After years of oppression, the black community as a whole had to re-identify themselves and solidify their beliefs. It was difficult work, but they did it. Our ancestors did it with class, dignity, respect, and Godliness. We have come along way by faith, and dependence upon each other. We have obtained many things; however, let us not get short sighted. The goal in still in front of us; we have not reached it. Yes, our president is black, but until all of us obtain true freedom in all aspects, we must continue to press towards the mark.
When the mainstream media talk about family, or in the case of African Americans, the lack of a nuclear family, they often fail to mention the erosion factors that have carried our family to its current state. Slavery challenged the Black family and rocked it to its core. Jim Crow ripped up the esteem of the Black family and caused it to doubt itself, or see themselves as inadequate, less than human. In a nutshell, the law suppressed the Black family legally for years before anyone dared challenge the humanity of it all.
Slavery by Another Name by Douglas A. Blackmon is a book written that dares to bring to light ills perpetrated by the law on black men from the Civil War to World War II. (I hope you are ready to go to school) Did you know that if a white man went to his local Sheriff's Office and stated that a particular black man owed him money that the sheriff would throw said black man in jail? He would then release him to work for the plaintiff (white man) until his debt was paid off. Now understand, there was never any proof offered, the white man would set some arbitrary number, and then release said black man months or years after supposed debt would have been satisfied. This practice was widely practiced in the South. Unfortunately, many of the victims fell into a cycle of indebtedness to their accusers based on behavior while working for them to pay off their false debt.
By this point, I'm hoping that you are beginning to see some of the factors of erosion at work as perpetrated. Many would have you believe that black men are lazy, horrible fathers, and ignorant when it comes to maintaining their families. It's simply not true. After years of oppression, the black community as a whole had to re-identify themselves and solidify their beliefs. It was difficult work, but they did it. Our ancestors did it with class, dignity, respect, and Godliness. We have come along way by faith, and dependence upon each other. We have obtained many things; however, let us not get short sighted. The goal in still in front of us; we have not reached it. Yes, our president is black, but until all of us obtain true freedom in all aspects, we must continue to press towards the mark.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Invisible Institution
As I sat last Wednesday night with my boys at home, I became sad and exceptionally proud at the same time. There I was, young, black, and a present father in my children's lives. I thought about the times I longed for affection from my own father; I thought about the countless lies that he told me and I became angry. I got angry because I started thinking about the lies the world tells each of us daily concerning black fatherhood. Mainly, I'm disgusted because the masses would have us believe that black fatherhood is a myth, or some historical reference point. We exist! The media does not show us, but we are here. Our presence is not reflected in many movies or television shows that often, but we are here. We are here, all around in full color nurturing, guiding, guarding, protecting, instilling, and praying God's blessing on and over our families.
When I thought of fatherhood, until recently, some white guy popped in my head. This was the first sign of a major problem for me. Why is the face of fatherhood white for me and so many other children of color? I have spoken to many close friends on the subject, and all of us agreed that we, black men, have some work to do to change the face of fatherhood to include hues representative of us.
Many of us are doing the right things. We share pick-up and drop-off duty with our spouses. We make professional decisions based on how they will effect our family dynamic and not on our own professional aspirations. Most importantly, we lead the way into church on Sunday mornings, and provide the financial support that allows no doors to be closed to our children based on socio-economic accessibility.
I remember going to my wife's office party towards the beginning of our courtship and feeling like I was the pink elephant in the room. Afterwards, she informed me that at work the next day everyone was so impressed because I was articulate, well dressed, held stimulating conversation, and was still able to throw a couple of beers back with the fellas. Though I appreciated the sentiment, I was a little insulted. Who did they suspect I would be, or act like? How did they suspect I would speak?
I am not an anomaly. There are so many educated brothers in the world who carry themselves well and manage to sustain and maintain beautiful families and lasting legacies. I am not an anomaly. I can not begin to count the positive, God-fearing, family-oriented brothers in my network alone, not to mention the ones I am completely unaware of in this world.
Excellence has always been a cultural standard when we discuss fatherhood in the black community. We do not spend our time patting each other on the back for our achievements, or our children's achievements, it is expected. Shock does not consume the body when a handsome, intelligent, professional brother walks in the room and commands respect with simply his presence because it is the standard. His swagger does not intimidate, it heightens and invites others to celebrate manhood and the promise of fatherhood.
It is incumbent upon the African American men to stand up to be seen and heard. We must do it for our sons and daughters. We must do it for the continuation of hope for our people. The next time someone asks any of you fathers whether you are indeed a father, tell them not only are you a father, but you are "POP". You are "POP" because you Parent to create Opportunity and with Purpose.
When I thought of fatherhood, until recently, some white guy popped in my head. This was the first sign of a major problem for me. Why is the face of fatherhood white for me and so many other children of color? I have spoken to many close friends on the subject, and all of us agreed that we, black men, have some work to do to change the face of fatherhood to include hues representative of us.
Many of us are doing the right things. We share pick-up and drop-off duty with our spouses. We make professional decisions based on how they will effect our family dynamic and not on our own professional aspirations. Most importantly, we lead the way into church on Sunday mornings, and provide the financial support that allows no doors to be closed to our children based on socio-economic accessibility.
I remember going to my wife's office party towards the beginning of our courtship and feeling like I was the pink elephant in the room. Afterwards, she informed me that at work the next day everyone was so impressed because I was articulate, well dressed, held stimulating conversation, and was still able to throw a couple of beers back with the fellas. Though I appreciated the sentiment, I was a little insulted. Who did they suspect I would be, or act like? How did they suspect I would speak?
I am not an anomaly. There are so many educated brothers in the world who carry themselves well and manage to sustain and maintain beautiful families and lasting legacies. I am not an anomaly. I can not begin to count the positive, God-fearing, family-oriented brothers in my network alone, not to mention the ones I am completely unaware of in this world.
Excellence has always been a cultural standard when we discuss fatherhood in the black community. We do not spend our time patting each other on the back for our achievements, or our children's achievements, it is expected. Shock does not consume the body when a handsome, intelligent, professional brother walks in the room and commands respect with simply his presence because it is the standard. His swagger does not intimidate, it heightens and invites others to celebrate manhood and the promise of fatherhood.
It is incumbent upon the African American men to stand up to be seen and heard. We must do it for our sons and daughters. We must do it for the continuation of hope for our people. The next time someone asks any of you fathers whether you are indeed a father, tell them not only are you a father, but you are "POP". You are "POP" because you Parent to create Opportunity and with Purpose.
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